god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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