i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
