the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
