i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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