you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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