I accidentally burped into my bong.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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