i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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