So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
