that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
