I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
