I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
