The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
