You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
