Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Im part way to drunk.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
