I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
MIDGETS
????
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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