I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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