If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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