I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
