coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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