Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize