hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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