I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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