I want to stick my p in your. b.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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