Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
