Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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