Is it because I queefed?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
