Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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