C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
