theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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