i barfeds in our rink
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
