Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
