I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Congratulations! We have a period
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
