Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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