margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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