I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
