at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
