this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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