You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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