he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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