I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
