one might say we're banned from that church
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
