she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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