I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
