I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
