so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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