do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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