I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
