Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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