He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
