Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
