ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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