I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
