ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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