oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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