i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
