i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
