I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
