I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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