i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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