so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
