i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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