hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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