Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
