Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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