Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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