How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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